Of all the inflammatory isms out there, the most shocking one for a Golden Bachelor to be accused of is ageism. That’s what happened to Mel Owens, 66, in a preseason controversy, so you might expect him to be a little defensive on the subject. But when the former NFL player sat down with Us, he was remarkably relaxed, maintaining the off-the-cuff energy that may have gotten him in hot water in the first place.
For context: Over the summer, the divorced Owens guested on a University of Michigan (his alma mater) football podcast called “In the Trenches” and mentioned some of the specifics he’d requested from producers of The Golden Bachelor: He wanted the women of his senior season to be between 45 and 60 and “fit,” with no “artificial hips” or “wigs.” And he added that anyone 60 and up would be cut.
The comments — a far cry from the “it’s never too late for a second chance at love” vibe of OG Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner’s season — spread quickly, with some members of Bachelor Nation calling for Owens to be fired immediately over his disrespectful remarks. Longtime Bachelor spoiler guru Reality Steve even falsely reported that Owens had been replaced.
“I’m not really on social media, so I didn’t even know. People were sending me screenshots and saying, ‘Oh, my God, are you still there?’ And I go, ‘I am,’ because I didn’t hear anything to the contrary,” Owens tells Us of the replacement chatter. “But I really didn’t give it too much thought, because that’s noise in the background. ABC and Warner Bros. believed in me, and I’m glad they did.”
In some ways, it’s not hard to see why the show stuck with Owens: In person, he’s charming, good-looking and has a Midwest background that fits the mold of the audience. In his late 30s, he traded in his football cleats to start law school, and in his 40s, a family. (He has two sons: Lucas, 20, and Andre, 18.) But even without the controversy, he’s making it plain that he didn’t sign on to follow the typical Bachelor trajectory.
Will he end up in love with more than one person? He almost scoffs at the idea despite its frequent occurrence on the long-running franchise. “No, I’m not gonna fall in love twice,” he tells Us. “Conflict is good for the show but not good for the heart.”
Will he get engaged? Certainly not just because the format seems to dictate it! “I told the producers, ‘I’m here with an open heart and open mind,’” he says. “But it’s a two-way street. Just because I want to get engaged doesn’t mean they want to get engaged. They might want to date, like, ‘You’re cool. Let’s just hang out.’”
Will he say “I love you” at all? Hard to tell. “It’s gotta be a true feeling,” he says. “You just can’t say the words because then they’d be hollow. I can say, ‘I really like you,’ and that’s meaningful. To fall in love, it takes some time.”
All those breaking-the-mold intentions just make Us even more intrigued. As season 2 of The Golden Bachelor nears the finish (ABC, Wednesdays, 9 p.m.), Owens opens up about what viewers haven’t seen — and previews the final weeks of his journey.
Mel’s Backstory
Owens was a unique pick to lead the season from the get-go. Unusually for the franchise, he came from outside Bachelor Nation. And he was divorced. (Turner and Golden Bachelorette Joan Vassos had both been widowed.) In fact, Owens didn’t tie the knot until he was 43. “I wasn’t going to get married when I was playing [football],” he explains, and after he retired from the NFL, all his energy shifted to law school. “I met a lot of great women and girlfriends along the way that ended up being great wives [to someone else].”
Prior to settling down, Owens got to live the perks of being a pro football player for nine seasons as a linebacker on the Los Angeles Rams, crossing paths with the likes of Nicolas Cage, Brad Pitt, Tori Spelling, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Robin Thicke, the Brat Pack and more at parties at the Playboy Mansion. “You got invitations, and then you’d go and all the celebrity guys would be there, with everybody ooh and aahing,” he recalls.
In 2002, he married Fabiana Owens. She filed for divorce in 2020 and, as he put it on the show, fell in love with somebody else. “I’m never going to get in the way of someone’s happiness. If you want to find somebody else in a different phase in your life, it hurts, but I can’t get in the way of your happiness,” he says of his ex moving on. How did he cope? “You live in the moment,” he continues. “Plus, I had kids, so I had to think about them before me. I let things work themselves out. I have patience and understanding.”
Was Owens always this rational? Ever since he set foot on the gridiron, apparently. “In football, they’re always trying to trick you. There’s a lot of commotion going on, a lot of noise,” he says. “When things are crazy, I get really calm, and you can make decisions better.” Owens might just be the most reasonable man to hand out roses, which makes his heart-off-his-sleeve journey harder to predict.
Moving Past the Controversy
The Bachelor franchise has shied away from addressing offscreen scandals on the show — and taken heat for it. That was not the case on Golden’s October premiere: Several women ribbed Owens about those podcast remarks in their limo entrances, and Owens straight-up acknowledged the situation in his opening night toast.
“It was my doing to get out of it or explain myself and ask the women, ‘Hey, give me another chance, I’m sorry,’ and let me earn it,” he says. “People are forgiving, and everybody makes mistakes. Everybody wants a second chance. That was my thought and my hope, and it happened.”
When asked what he would say now when it comes to his dating preferences, he responds, “I’d be open to anything.” It seems the casting department may have taught Owens a thing or two. “These women are all accomplished, witty and smart, and we have shared experiences because we’re the same age, which I found very refreshing,” he says. (Go figure!)
Jokes aside, the women were also quick to forgive. Us was on set for the season’s second group date, and while several contestants said they’d been worried about meeting this Golden Bachelor after his viral remarks, they felt at ease after spending time with him. “He immediately addressed it. He said, ‘I apologize, I misspoke. I’m remorseful. It’s not how I felt. I was in the moment,’” Robin Rocha, a 63-year-old wealth advisor, said. “And we all realized, ‘Well, that’s what you have to do if you misspeak,’ which we all do. We all make mistakes.” Diane Firmani, a 71-year-old librarian, added: “He was just sincere and [apologized], and I was kind of like, ‘Whoa.’”
The Emotional Tests
While it’s been established that Owens prefers to keep things calm, cool and collected, he can only control himself — and part of being the Bachelor is listening to the love-seekers tell their stories. “I wasn’t really expecting that,” he confesses. “But there’s that empathy you can share, and you understand how [their trauma or loss] shaped them. It matters. You get an understanding of who they are. They’re tough women. I mean, to go through some of the things they went through and come out on the other side is truly amazing.”
For his part, Owens “tried to open up as much as I could,” but he notes, “I’ve been very blessed and lucky in my life.” One turning point, though, was the loss of his father around the same time as his divorce. “I got a lot of his qualities; he was a really calm guy, too. Fiery, but calm,” he says. “And I told my boys, and this is the truth, ‘Whatever my dad said, I did.’” But would he have approved of The Golden Bachelor? “He would love it,” Owens declares.
Another unexpected development occurred in the October 15 episode, when Carol Freeman-Branstine, the 63-year-old aunt and manager of MLB player Freddie Freeman, took herself out of the running. “I didn’t see it coming,” Owens says. “Everybody is there for their own reasons, and when they feel they have to leave, they can do that. Maybe there wasn’t a deep connection, maybe she could see into her future and say, ‘I don’t want the guy.’”
Owens believes the early exit changed the journey. “She was really nice and a lovely person, funny, just wonderful. So it may have affected the dynamics of the women. And also, maybe, she would have got a rose and somebody else would have left. … We’ll never know!” he teases.
That leaves Owens with his final three: Debbie Siebers, the 65-year-old Denver fitness professional who has never been married; Cindy Cullers, the 60-year-old retired biomedical engineer from Austin and divorced mother of three; and Peg Munson, the 62-year-old retired firefighter and bomb tech from Las Vegas and divorced mom of one.
Owens was touched that the “down-to-earth” Siebers made an effort to open up about her family. “She’s gentle, smart, beautiful,” he says, calling her single status “a plus” because “she wasn’t tainted by the whole breakup, heartache, kids. That stuff is tough on the psyche, man.”
Cullers, meanwhile, was “always outgoing and forward,” per Owens, and got the last one-on-one before hometowns. “She’s passionate, compassionate and brilliant,” he says. Upon her limo exit, he joked the show could “call it a wrap,” telling Us, “I’m thinking, ‘Wow. She’s obviously beautiful.’”
Complimenting her “high energy,” Owens was intrigued by the challenge to “crack” Munson. She opened up to him about experiencing infidelity, but he quipped, “I had to figure out if she really liked me or not!” He also wanted her to be more affectionate and noted: “I [had] to bring it out.”
Still to come, of course, are the fantasy suites. When asked for three words to describe the infamous overnight dates, Owens offered up some unusually tame descriptors. “Contemplative, conversation, information,” he says. “I went in there really wanting to know more, because the cameras are off, no mic, and now I can ask questions you might not want to say while you’re miked and on camera.”
Did any giant red flags appear? “For me, there aren’t any deal-breakers. I’m looking for deal-makers,” he says of his flip-the-script dating philosophy. “My best fit would be someone who is fun and high-energy. Someone who is witty, a lifelong learner I can be curious with and learn from.”
At the time, he says, he was still “contemplating” whether he was ready for an engagement. “I like being married. I like the companionship, having a partner and shared experiences, but it has to be someone special,” he explains. (Another justification for his unofficial title of Most Reasonable Bachelor.)
The Unconventional Happily Ever After
As the season winded down, Owens tried an unusual strategy — a pros and cons list. “I usually don’t make those types of lists. I can do it in my head, but when you write stuff down, it’s meaningful. I wanted to write down my first impressions, the goods, the bads, the neutrals. It really didn’t sway me, but I could still look at it,” he says.
“It was tough,” he continues, “and I’m just trying to figure out who is going to be the best fit for me, who I would enjoy. The hometowns are all great. But there’s that magnetism that pulls you in that direction no matter what, and it’s a little bit more toward one person than the other, so I went with my gut.”
We should tell you that Owens lights up when asked about his ending. (Up until this point, we weren’t convinced he had found a partner — but his glow made us question whether his nonchalant nature might be throwing off our normal spoiler game.)
“ABC can put on a production. We go to Antigua. I’ve never been there. I’ve been to islands, but I’ve never been there. But whoever scouted it out and set it up and got things prepared, just the little details, it’s just so good,” Owens begins, once again throwing Us off that he’s breaking the fourth wall with behind-the-scenes details before launching into the usually inevitable “it’s the most dramatic” ending tease.
“I’m leading up to it!” he says when we express a need for more. “You have the setting, and I know who it is. It’s really emotional. And you’re a little nervous, but it’s so brilliant. … It’s so good, you won’t believe it.”
What does that mean? Our second Golden Bachelor continues to perplex Us. “You won’t believe how we get there, not mechanically, but how we get there emotionally,” he clarifies. “There’s some movement and twists and turns.”
Hmmm, we’ve seen the lead change his mind, call off his engagement to pursue his runner-up (twice!) and even choose no one (we haven’t forgotten, Brad Womack!). With Owens at the helm, this truly could be something we’ve never seen before.
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