They’re knocking boots before punching the clock.
The key to success? Morning sex! A little NSFW action at sunrise enhances employee productivity and better positions naughty 9-to-5ers to receive perks at work, such as pay increases and promotions, per a new risqué report.
“Full-time American workers who have sex before work in the morning have the highest levels of productivity (71%), task completion (70%), focus (58%), motivation (57%), and job satisfaction (54%),” study authors for ZipHealth, an online pharmacy, reveal in the October 2025 findings.
Well, cock-a-doodle-doo.
But the benefits of canoodling at the crack of dawn aren’t solely internal, according to the data. They’re also income-boosting.
“Nearly 1 in 5 American workers who have morning sex (19%) said they’ve received a promotion in the past year, which is higher than at any other time of day,” say the experts. “Over half of American workers who have morning sex (51%) said they’ve received a raise in the past year, which is more than any other group.”
It pays to get laid.
To get a firm grasp on the value of making whoopee in the morning, researchers surveyed 1,000 US jobholders, all spanning the generational spectrum, from the 20-somethings of Gen Z to Baby Boomers in their 60s and beyond.
And it turns out that the breadwinning boomers, along with Gen Xers over age 45, are having the most morning sex (20%), followed by millennials in their 30s and early 40s (17%) and Gen Z (16%), per the poll.
But professionals in certain, specific professions are starting their business days off by getting busy more than others.
Marketing ranks as the No. 1 industry teeming with A.M. sex enthusiasts.
Hospitality, manufacturing and construction secure the second, third and fourth slots, respectively, on the X-rated roster.
The entertainment industry rounds out the top 5 list of laborers who enjoy a roll in the hay at the top of the morning. (Does “entertainment” include news reporters? Asking for a friend).
It’s an energy-erector better than coffee, according to the probe, which determined that over 35% of the workforce — from executives and business owners to entry-level peons — credit morning sex, over caffeine, with raising their spirits each day.
The investigators also found that bright and early lust-and-thrust comes with a bevy of mental health boons, too.
“Americans who have morning sex report the highest levels of happiness, confidence, and emotional stability,” say the insiders.
And those daybreak-delighters report experiencing, “68% higher overall happiness, 63% greater emotional stability, 58% stronger confidence and self-esteem, and 49% better stress management,” over working stiffs who shag after their shifts.
“Compared to other times of day, like evening or late night, morning intimacy consistently ranks highest across all measures of emotional and mental well-being,” the authorities note.
Sun-up trips to Pound Town are the best all around.
“In a culture obsessed with productivity hacks, perhaps one of the simplest and most enjoyable is already in the bedroom,” researchers say.
“A little morning connection might be the secret to feeling happier, more confident, and yes, even more successful at work.”
Read the full article here
