College student’s kitchen request sparks viral online debate: ‘It felt kind of entitled’

A Reddit user was irked when a friend of his girlfriend asked if she could come over to their place “just to use our kitchen.”

“I barely know her, and it’s not like it’s an emergency,” user “Pikachu930” wrote recently on a Reddit forum. 

“But what made it even weirder is that my girlfriend told me we should feel honored that her friend asked us instead of someone else. That rubbed me the wrong way – it felt kind of entitled, like we’re supposed to say yes out of flattery?”

The friend also lives in a dorm and has a meal plan, said the Reddit writer. 

“It’s not like she doesn’t have options,” he wrote. “She just suddenly wanted to cook something and decided her dorm kitchen was too gross.”

What also bothered the person on Reddit was that “this wasn’t a social request at all.”

“It wasn’t like, ‘Hey, want to cook together sometime?’ or ‘Could we hang out and cook?’” Pikachu930 wrote. 

“It was literally, ‘Can I use your kitchen to cook my own food?’ That’s it. No invitation to connect or spend time together – just a one-way request to use our space.”

The man shared that he uses the kitchen “99% of the time.”

“I do almost all the cooking and the dishes, so it feels like my personal space in the house,” he continued. 

“It’s not just a shared utility room to me. It’s where I do something I actually enjoy and take care of both of us. So letting someone else use it, especially someone I don’t know well, isn’t something I’m automatically cool with.”

His girlfriend, however, told him he was “overreacting and being rude about her friend.”

He wondered if he was being overly sensitive about it, adding that he would have been OK with it if it were a one-time request. Yet the friend wanted to use the kitchen “for a whole week, including sharing our refrigerator space,” to cook foods like chicken breast and avocado toast.

Most users on the platform seemed to side with Pikachu930 — writing that he was “not the a–hole” for not wanting to share the kitchen with a stranger for a week.

“The so-called friend needs to bite the bullet and clean her own kitchen,” one user wrote.

“Absolutely not,” said another person. “She can batch-cook the chicken in an hour, she can make avocado freaking toast in her dorm kitchen — that’s absurd. This is a ridiculous request that makes no sense at all. Say no.”

However, another user wrote that it seemed like “a pretty normal request.”

“Dorm kitchens are terrible for people who actually enjoy cooking,” said the commenter. “It does seem a little weird that your gf said you should be ‘honored.’ Is this girl a really excellent cook or is this a compliment paid to your kitchen?”

The same commenter also pointed out that the choice is ultimately his.

“This is probably just someone who enjoys cooking as an outlet and really misses it since moving into a dorm,” the person stated. 

“Assuming she’s respectful of the space and cleans up after herself, it would be kind to let her use your kitchen. But you would not be an a–hole if you declined to invite her into your space.”

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Texas in San Antonio, agreed with that last sentiment.

“Offering a part of your house, whether it’s the kitchen or a spare bedroom, is a courtesy and a kindness when it’s temporary,” she told Fox News Digital. 

“Using someone’s kitchen over and over again, without offering to compensate in any way, is simply rude. It’s taking advantage of the friendship. At the very least, this person should offer some sort of compensation, either financially or by taking them out to eat occasionally.”

Gottsman recommended that the girlfriend “set some guidelines and boundaries.”

“You don’t have to go into big detail about why you don’t want this other person to inconvenience you. It’s obvious,” Gottsman said.

She suggested that the ask is “stretching the friendship – and it’s also straining her relationship with her boyfriend.”

“I would also add that it’s a big ask for a friend to borrow another friend’s kitchen over a period of time without offering some type of kindness in return,” Gottsman said. 

“It would not be inappropriate to feel taken advantage of, and for the sake of the friendship, boundaries must be put into place.”