Couples are celebrating bizarre ‘arbitrary-versaries’ — and it might be the fix some relationships need

Forget the flowers and dinner reservations — modern couples are marking milestones that are far more steamy, stinky or strangely sweet.

They’re called “arbitrary-versaries” — made-up, hyper-specific holidays celebrating the messy, awkward, and uniquely modern moments that define a relationship in 2025.

Think: “the first time you peed with the door open,” “the night you first saw each other naked,” or “the day you ditched making out to binge-watch a new show.” Yes, really.

“We swiped right in December, and a week later met for what was supposed to be a one-night stand,” wrote Popsugar editor Emma Glassman-Hughes in a recent essay.

She cited that the term “arbitrary-versaries” was previously coined by polyamory expert Laura Boyle, who noted in a 2021 blog post that they can be “a fun excuse to mark the passage of time with someone you love and intend to spend more time with.”

In her essay, Glassman-Hughes added, “By the following December, already with a year full of memories in the bank, we were clueless about what date to consider our actual ‘anniversary.’”

Instead of agonizing over “official” coupledom, Glassman-Hughes and her partner threw out the rulebook — and celebrated their first annual “co-soup day” in March, marking the night they made tomato, kale and white bean soup together.

“Cooking together in my kitchen felt like a big step, breaking an intimacy barrier as special and rarefied as a first kiss,” she recalled.

“As the soup simmered, we talked a lot about where our taste in music overlaps and diverges… He dubbed it a night of ‘co-souping.’”

TikTok users are also leaning into the oddball anniversary trend.

One user, @mmakalea, proudly documented her husband’s “first time” doing yardwork, dubbing it a “marriage milestone.”

Meanwhile, a couple @couplagoofs got real in a @itgetsbetter video, highlighting the first time they felt “comfy enough” to tell each other to brush their teeth, and the first time they “pee[ed] with the door open.”

Redditors are on board, too. In the r/polyamory subreddit, user @nothanx_nospanx crowd-sourced “silly and sweet relationship firsts” to commemorate their upcoming one-year anniversary. The checklist included “first scheduling issue” and other unique poly moments.

One user replied with their own anniversary-worthy highlights, writing: “The leaving of a toothbrush at each other’s places, creation of your joint calendar, the day their pet accepts you, successfully negotiated division of holidays between partners.”

Turns out, celebrating the unconventional might actually save your relationship.

According to previous New York Post reporting, a staggering 1 in 4 couples are stuck in a “relationship rut,” with symptoms ranging from lackluster sex to barely speaking. 

Many say the boredom has lasted over 10 months, according to a survey conducted by Talker Research on behalf of Lovense. 63% worry it could spell the end without intervention.

But those who spice things up by trying new activities together — or just commemorating the goofy moments — are more likely to revive the spark.

So, whether you’re “official” or not, dating exclusively or open, celebrating the day you adopted a dog or the night you first passed gas — don’t wait for the traditional milestones.

Just pick your favorite weird memory and call it love.