Couples who bond over this nasty habit are happier, study reveals: ‘Partners are on the same team’

Did you hear? Couples that gossip together stay together.

A new study from UC Riverside, titled “Spill the Tea, Honey: Gossiping Predicts Well-Being in Same- and Different-Gender Couples,” revealed that couples who gossip together are not only bonded more deeply but also happier and more satisfied in their romance.

“Whether or not we want to admit it, everyone gossips,” Chandler Spahr, first author of the study, told UC Riverside. “Gossip is ubiquitous.”

And that might not be such a bad thing.

A team of researchers tracked 76 romantic couples — both same-gender and different-gender — using a portable listening device called the Electronically Activated Recorder (EAR). 

This device passively recorded snippets of daily conversation.

However, it is worth noting that the device captured only about 14% of participants’ daily speech, and all the couples recorded were from Southern California.

According to the results, participants gossiped for an average of 38 minutes per day — with nearly 29 of those minutes spent gossiping with their partner.

And everyone was better off for it.

Across the board, couples who gossiped more frequently reported higher levels of personal happiness. Gossip was also linked to better relationship quality, although the effect was slightly less pronounced.

Same-sex couples overall reported higher well-being than their different-sex counterparts — especially woman-woman couples.

Senior author Megan Robbins explained that gossiping may function as a tool of emotional intimacy.

For example, she noted that often after leaving social gatherings together, couples will rehash what they learned from and thought of everybody else in the room.

This kind of post-event gossip — whether playfully catty or positively reflective — helps reinforce emotional alignment and feelings of closeness, trust and solidarity.

“Negatively gossiping with one’s romantic partner on the way home from a party could signal that the couple’s bond is stronger than with their friends at the party, while positively gossiping could prolong the fun experiences,” the study authors wrote.

“It may reinforce the perception that partners are ‘on the same team,’ enhancing feelings of connectedness, trust and other positive relationship qualities, as well as contributing to overall well-being.”

This research builds on Robbins’ earlier 2019 study, which debunked popular myths about gossip — like the belief that women gossip more maliciously or that poorer people gossip more often.

That study found the truth to be more nuanced, suggesting gossip is neither inherently bad nor limited to any one demographic.

Meanwhile, in the new study, researchers didn’t distinguish between positive, negative or neutral gossip, proving that it’s the act of sharing perspectives that counts.

So, if you’re one of the many Americans who say they’re too stressed about money to have sex, maybe try spilling some tea to feel connected to your partner.