He’s Kiss-ing it all goodbye
Fresh from Europe, off to Australia, born in Israel as Chaim Witz, multimillionaire Gene Simmons says it’s his final tour.
“Rock ’n’ roll’s dead. Beatles, Stones, Elvis, Madonna, disco, Motown, David Bowie, Kiss, Metallica withstood the test of time. Now fans stopped paying for music. It’s Internet, social media, streaming, artists earn hundredths of a percent of a cent. Can’t keep up with downloading, legislation, minimum wage laws. Write songs and be a performer, it’s now pennies for your work.”
I muttered that Streisand’s done 40 moneymaking farewell tours.
“I’m 73 soon. I carry 40 pounds of armor and 7-inch dragon boots platform heels. The physicality makes it the last tour. I can’t sit in a chair picking a guitar like blues musicians. I know you can’t stay on the stage too long. Better get off while the getting’s good.
“My mother and I, 8 ¹/₂, flew El Al in ’58. On a box called TV we’d never seen before we saw everything big. People, buildings, superheroes, animated cartoons. Only a land like America could like this.
“Now, I’m into AI company Noble, restaurant chain Rock, three casinos, the Gene Simmons band, a crypto operation and lots of stuff.”
Happily married, to Shannon, he claims he’s slept with 5,000 women so — understood he lacks strength for touring. And this final tour — how many cities?
“Probably 100.”
——————————-
‘Easter’ comes in August
CHELSEA Handler’s ex, Filipino funnyman Jo Koy, has a new movie “Easter Sunday.”
Koy: “It’s my family bickering, eating, drinking. Literally my life. Comedy and chaos, all legit, taking place on one day. Steven Spielberg is producing.”
Co-star Tia Carrere: “I’ve played Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai. Never Filipino. I’m finally representing my true ethnicity.” And Tiffany Haddish: “I have seen no movie like ‘Easter Sunday’ ever.” What that means I don’t know.
This thing no one’s ever seen can be seen in theaters this weekend.
———————————
Bits & bobs
DISCOVERY Network’s Henry Schleiff at Polo celebrating Nelson DeMille’s new Oct. 11 book “The Maze.” Its protagonist John Corey may grab a film series . . .
THINK Elon’s sticky or icky? Mom Maye Musk’s “team” lists interview requirements: what we approve or meeting’s canceled, send questions to review beforehand, read her book pre-interview. So far this partial list omits buying one of his cars.
———————————
His name’s Dino
America the beautiful. Washington’s the only president who didn’t blame any previous administration for his troubles. Congress and Senate? Unpredictable. You never know what life-threatening problems they’ll do nothing about.
Should Joe fall down and break his crown, Kamala’s tumbling after. With a food taster — and an English teacher. Biden? Knows a lot. He just can’t remember it. He stands on his record so nobody can see it. Do powerful interests control him? It’s “Leave my family out of this.”
Also: Reporters are warned not to discuss the man’s advanced years. No mentioning he once had a pet dinosaur.
—————————————-
And may this president know that, according to East Coast old-age specialists, the 10 best years of a head of state’s life are between 55 and 79.
Maybe only in New York, kids, maybe only in New York.
