Rand Paul’s ‘Festivus’ report calls out cocaine dogs, COVID influencers and a mountain of debt

Congress’ top fiscal hawk is back with his yearly government waste report card, this time uncovering over $1.6 trillion in spending on cocaine experiments on dogs, COVID-19 vaccine influencer campaigns and staggering yearly debt payments.

Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., unveiled his 11th annual “Festivus Report” on Tuesday, detailing the wonky ways that the federal government dumps taxpayer dollars into pet projects.

Paul has long been against Congress’ spending habits, routinely voting against appropriations bills and spending packages for not trying to tackle the nation’s growing debt problem. His report highlights that even with several lawmakers pounding their chests on Washington’s spending problem, Congress can’t help itself but to spend more.

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“No matter how much taxpayer money Washington burns through, politicians can’t help but demand more,” Paul said. “Fiscal responsibility may not be the most crowded road, but it’s one I’ve walked year after year — and this holiday season will be no different. So, before we get to the Feats of Strength, it’s time for my Airing of (Spending) Grievances.”

He lauded moves taken by the Trump administration to slash government spending, like the nearly $9 billion rescissions package that slashed funding for public broadcasting and some foreign aid, Paul said while the action was “a good start, it’s just a drop in the bucket.”

Paul noted that in the last year, the federal debt has skyrocketed to nearly $40 trillion, up from roughly $36 trillion.

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“The Congressional Budget Office predicts we will add an average of $23.9 trillion in debt annually for the next decade. The U.S. government will add over $6.53 billion of debt every single day for the next ten years,” Paul said. “We borrow over $272 million every hour, we borrow $4.54 million every minute, and we borrow over $75,000 every second.”

“This year, I’m spotlighting a jaw-dropping amount of government waste — the kind that makes you wonder if anyone in Washington has ever heard the word ‘priorities,’” he continued. “A grand total of $1,639,135,969,608, which includes $1.22 trillion in interest payments on the debt.”

And several programs highlighted in the report that funneled taxpayer dollars to celebrities, drug experiments, diversity, equity and inclusion programs and several other obscure projects contributed to that staggering figure.

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Among the highlights are over $40 million to social media influencers to promote getting the COVID-19 vaccine to racial and ethnic minority groups, over $5 million to dose dogs with cocaine, over $1 million to teach “teenage ferrets to binge-drink alcohol,” over $14 million to teach monkeys to play a “Price-is-Right” inspired game, and roughly $13 million to continue experiments on Beagles.

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There’s also the over $7 billion previously allocated by Congress to build electric vehicle charging stations nationwide — only 68 have been built so far, he noted — and schools receiving nearly $200 billion in COVID-19 relief funds that has been spent on “rooms at Caesars Palace, renting out MLB stadiums, and ice cream trucks.”

The report highlighted several other programs, including over $1 million to hire celebrity influencers for anti-drug campaigns targeting “Latinx” communities, nearly $5 million total for studies looking at the effect of screen time on toddlers and mobile-phone obesity intervention for toddlers, and over $2 million for researchers to take saliva swabs at electronic dance music festivals in New York City.