The devious way psychopaths use hugs to control their partners

It’s the opposite of a “feel-good” moment.

While hugs might seem like a display of affection, psychopaths use embraces and other forms of physical contact to control their partners, per an unsettling new study published in Current Psychology.

“Not all forms of touch are well-intentioned,” study author Richard Mattson, professor of psychology at Binghamton University in New York, said in a recent release.

For instance, a partner who embraces their significant other during an argument might be trying to do a psychological “clinch” to establish authority.

The researcher and a team of students had set out to expand upon studies on how people “can leverage touch” to boost the health of a relationship, per the release.

However, while most of these studies focused on the benefits of positive human-on-human contact, Mattson wanted to explore the “manipulative use of touch alongside an individual’s preference not to be touched.”

“What’s new about our work isn’t just in identifying problematic uses of touch — it’s linking those behaviors to the type of person who is inclined to use them on a romantic partner,” he said. “Not only are you not getting the benefits of touch in these relationships, but the flip side of that is that they are powerful, so they can actually be used in the service of oneself at the expense of the relationship partner.”

To determine how bad actors might use certain touches for nefarious purposes, Mattson and his team surveyed 500 college students who were in relationships. They asked them questions ranging from overall comfort with being touched, how much they’d maneuver themselves away from touch out of discomfort, and “their use of touch in ways that aren’t beneficial to the other person,” per the released.

Participants were also given a questionnaire to evaluate their levels of the three “dark triad” traits – psychopathy, narcissism and Machiavellianism. 

The team found that participants with psychopathic characteristics are more likely to use certain moves — including holding their partner’s arm, shoulder, or back of head — to manipulate their partner in a relationship.

This manipulative human-on-human contact can “increase the perceived ownership of objects” and “foster compliance from a subordinate,” per the study.

The results varied by gender as well. Women who demonstrated “dark triad” traits felt uncomfortable with physical contact themselves but were more likely to use touch to manipulate others.

Of course, not all forms of touch were so Machiavellian. Study authors noted that for men, comfort with being touched was linked to relationship insecurity, with men who felt they were on shaky romantic ground being more likely to employ touch to seek reassurance from partners.

Meanwhile, participants “who were uncomfortable with closeness did not like being touched themselves, irrespective of other personality traits,” per the study.

Ultimately, Mattson believes the “touchy-feely” research helps shed light on how certain personality traits physically manifest in relationships through touch, potentially helping them formulate “clinical” solutions for those with issues embracing closeness in a healthy way.

“We can potentially leverage touch in these scenarios in order to have frontline, inexpensive interventions for those who haven’t learned to use touch in healthy, reciprocal ways and instead rely on it for control or self-protection?” he posited.

This is particularly important given that individuals with “dark triad” traits generally have more trouble in relationships, including frequent arguments and even violence.