Let’s talk unruly offspring, folks.
TikTok sensation the Astrology Bro has taken to the platform to reveal his picks for the zodiac’s top problem children, rascals, woeful whippersnappers, and enfant terrible.
Read on to learn more.
The Astrology Bro puts the cardinal fire of Aries at the top of his list of pint-size bearers of holy terror.
He explains, “They’re so spontaneous and sensitive and impressionable and just so direct.”
Aries of all ages are famous for their poor impulse control, and in child form, those effects are amplified.
“When they’re feeling something, they tend not to hold it inside. They air it out. There’s gonna be tantrums, there’s gonna be outbursts…Especially when things aren’t going their way, when they’re told that they’re wrong, or when people don’t see their point of view. They’ll fly off the handle.”
Taurus takes second place for impudent fledglings. Rulers of the second house of values and possessions, bull babies are akin to Veruca Salt from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” with two speeds: “mine” and “more.”
The Astro Bro explains, “Taurus adolescents are stubborn. They’re fixed. They’re very focused on what they want. They have intense desires. They want things. They’re mad at you when they don’t get them.”
Parents of Taurus children are responsible for instilling a healthy value system in their offspring as gone unchecked, Taurus kids can easily become Taurus tyrants as adults.
For evidence I bring you bad bulls Pol Pot, Adolf Hitler, Vladimir Lenin, Sadaam Hussein, and Jim ‘drink the Kool-Aid’ Jones.
Sagittarius is the sign of freedom, philosophy, and expansion. When packed into a tiny person or a hormonal teen, this energy can be exhausting to grapple with and impossible to parent.
Astro Bro elaborates, “When Sagittarius kids and teenagers are having a good time, and they’re at their best, they can light up a room. They’re very warm, but they are very independent. They have very strong ideas about what they want and where they want to go. They don’t respond well to rules or restrictions or limits or curfews. They are going to try and break them.”
Archers of any age have a complex relationship with rules. The throughline is that they refuse to obey them or believe they apply to them, an arrogance that escalates with age.
The Astrology Bro calls it a tie between the fixed water of Scorpio and the mutable waves of Pisces.
He shares, “Especially in the middle adolescent years, middle school, and high school, these signs will be so broody. There’s so much they’re stewing on. With Scorpio, there’s always going to be some intensity, and their deep inner nature can be scary for them and their parents.”
Deeply permeable, Pisces adolescents struggle with the saga of coming of age, feeling out who they are, where they belong and who they can trust. Boundaries are a life-long challenge for the people of the fish, and as they grow up, they are prone to test their own limits and their parents’ patience.
“Until they figure themselves out, they’re uncomfortable, and sometimes that manifests as rebellion against the family and against expectations and norms.”
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture, and personal experience. To book a reading, visit her website.
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