Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein — the no-nonsense hosts of hit podcast series “Excuse My Grandma” — are The Post’s brand-new advice columnists,
From family feuds to friendship fallouts, money, marriage and sex, there’s no topic too taboo to tackle, and the native New Yorkers will hash out each issue from their differing perspectives to tell the tough-love truth — and you’ll thank them for it.
To get your questions answered, head to nypost.com/ema and drop them a note about what you need sorted.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
I did 23andMe and discovered I have a half sibling I never knew about through my dad. Do I confront him — and what if he doesn’t even know they exist?
Kim: That’s crazy. I did 23andMe and found out I was 99.9% Ashkenazi Jewish. And I was like, I don’t need a test for that, but thank you. Imagine if I found something like that out!
Grandma Gail: Well, maybe because the father could have been a sperm donor. You know, a lot of times when people going when they’re in their 20s and they need extra money, they donate sperm for money. So it’s like blood. Like blood donors. They used to get paid for it. It could be anything. It could be anything.
But I believe we should go to the sibling before you talk to the father.
Kim: What? You’re going to have a whole conversation with this person without talking to your family member first?
Grandma Gail: Maybe you’re right. It’s a tricky thing.
Kim: Right? I would do research. Not with the half sibling who’s already claiming to be the half sibling. I would do research. It’s a quick like Google, LinkedIn. I don’t know who this person is. It could be a phony or not. And then I think at the end of the day it’s their decision whether they want to meet this person. I think it’s totally fine to be totally honest and say to your dad..
Grandma Gail: I took this test and I have a half sibling, and he might say “I don’t know how that occurred”, and then maybe you have to go a little further.
Kim: If you bring this up to your dad and he feels weird about it, denies it, you have to think about how important this is to you, because it could disrupt your status quo of the family and start to create an issue. So, think about how much you care.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
My partner and I have been together for a few years, and our work lives are non stop. Should we schedule intimacy?
Kim: What do you think Grandma?
Grandma Gail: I think if we have to schedule we’re in trouble here.
Kim: People have busy lives. They have work, they have kids. Instead of scheduling the actual time you have to do it, I feel like if you block off time for just me and you time… because you don’t want it to feel like a responsibility.
Grandma Gail: Exactly. I would say do it on a weekend, when you both don’t have work hopefully and let it just happen. Too much planning makes things very uncomfortable I think. And too much pressure on the partner.
Kim: Right, you don’t want it to feel forced. You want it to be fun and organic.
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