Chivalry isn’t dead — you just have to filter for it.
Match Group’s dating app Upward is leaning into old-school courtship with a new “Chivalry Mode,” aimed at singles who would rather have a man make the first move than waste time wondering why their matches never message.
And apparently, there’s an audience.
Despite years of data showing that marriage rates are declining and young people are getting married later, Match Group’s 2026 research found that 72% of Gen Z singles say they want to get married.
Upward says its own users are even more marriage-minded.
“Nearly all members ages 18-30 want a family and children, and family is the number one value on Upward,” a Match Group representative told The Post.
“At the same time, we are seeing a broader shift among younger singles looking for courtship, commitment, and relationships built for marriage.”
According to the company, the relaunch adds three features aimed at making intentions clearer: Chivalry Mode, which encourages the man to message first when both users opt in; Marriage Timeline, which lets singles share when they hope to wed; and Core Values, which highlights the priorities they want a partner to share.
The relaunch lands as traditional relationship dynamics are seeing a decidedly online resurgence among young women, with terms like “feminine energy” and “provider men” entering the discourse as a crop of tradwife influencers showcase domestic routines, early marriages, and stay-at-home lifestyles.
On social media, heavily curated accounts like Nara Smith glamorize homemaking — cooking decadent meals from scratch in a ball gown and tending to 4 small children — as an appealing alternative to Gen Z’s current milestones: joblessness, dating burnout and living with your parents.
But dating experts say the popularity of something called “Chivalry Mode” doesn’t necessarily mean Gen Z women suddenly want to return to 1950s gender roles.
“I don’t read this as Gen Z suddenly becoming ‘traditional,’” Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, told The Post. “I read it as a generation that may be craving more intentionality in dating while still wanting to define what that looks like for themselves.”
In other words, wanting a guy to text first doesn’t necessarily mean quitting your job and baking sourdough.
Trombetti said there is nothing wrong with a woman saying, “I want a man who pursues me,” as long as both people are aligned in that dynamic.
“The important part is that ‘traditional’ should be a mutual choice, not an expectation,” she said.
Adam Cohen-Aslatei, CEO of matchmaking company Three Day Rule, sees a similar appetite among the women his company works with.
“We work with so many accomplished women who make decisions all day long at work,” he told The Post. “For some of them, having a guy make the first move feels refreshing.”
The bigger problem, he said, may not be that younger singles have abandoned relationships — but that they are exhausted by the process of finding one.
“There’s so much ambiguity about intentions on the apps,” Cohen-Aslatei said, noting that many young people are perfectly comfortable saying they want marriage even if they aren’t ready to walk down the aisle tomorrow.
That ambiguity has practically become its own dating-app punchline: “Should we match and never talk?”
Upward is betting young singles are ready for an answer — even if it means borrowing a few rules from dating’s past.
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