Dear Abby: Does coloring one’s hair impact affection in a relationship?

DEAR ABBY: Regarding “Silver Girl in New York” (Jan. 5), whose husband is making her feel less loved because she decided to not color her hair anymore, this is her decision to make, not his. He needs to grow up. 

You advised her to wear a red wig when he is feeling amorous. What were you thinking? So, she is supposed to be uncomfortable in her own home just to make her manchild husband feel better about himself? It is her hair; she can do what she wants with it. I wonder if her husband is some sort of Adonis after 20 years of marriage. I bet not, but she isn’t asking him to change things about himself. Women, know your worth! — TERRI IN IOWA

DEAR TERRI: Interestingly, the “colorful” responses I received about that letter were evenly divided. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Why is “Silver Girl” so against coloring her hair for her husband? He obviously loves her and loves the red hair. When did women get so touchy? We do things for our spouses to show our love. If he were my husband, I’d dye my hair green if he asked. I would love the fact that he loved my hair. “Silver” should remember that there are many ladies out there who would dye-banish the gray for a good man. — NATURAL REDHEAD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: “Silver Girl” recognizes that gray hair ages her appearance. She colored it to appear younger and more competitive in her workplace before she retired. Did she care more about her colleagues’ opinions than that of her own husband? Does the fact that it makes him feel older not matter to her? — “GOLDIE” IN NEVADA

DEAR ABBY: Of course we all have the right to be who and how we want to be, but many of us, crazy in love with our husbands, go the extra mile to keep their engines running. Knowing they love us AND desire us as much as we do them is a turn-on. “Silver” is lucky her husband expresses himself, although he could use some lessons on finesse. — ECSTATIC WIFE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: “Silver” was gray-haired when she met her husband. When it comes to body autonomy, we need to please ourselves. If he’s having issues with getting older, maybe he should talk to someone about what’s causing him to feel that way. Aging gracefully should be the norm, not the exception. — CAROLE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ABBY: In my family, we refer to gray hair as “wisdom highlights.” — SMILING IN MAINE

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.