Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein — the no-nonsense hosts of hit podcast series “Excuse My Grandma” — are The Post’s brand-new advice columnists.
From family feuds to friendship fallouts, money, marriage and sex, there’s no topic too taboo to tackle, and the native New Yorkers will hash out each issue from their differing perspectives to tell the tough-love truth — and you’ll thank them for it.
To get your questions answered, head to nypost.com/ema and drop them a note about what you need sorted.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
A man I was seeing ghosted me after four dates, even though things seem to be going well. Months later, he reached back out, apologized and asked to see me again. Is giving someone a second chance ever worth it?
Kim: We believe in second chances! Maybe not third and fourth though.
Grandma Gail: This happened to me!
Kim: You were ghosted?
Grandma Gail: Not ghosted! They didn’t know such a thing as ghosted when I was young. But somebody didn’t call me for a while. And I found out the reason several weeks later.
Kim: Wasn’t it Poppi?
Grandma Gail: Yes! And I’ve ended up being married for 62 years. He didn’t think I understood the play that we went to. And he said, oh my God, intellectually she’s never going to match me. And then when his mother and father didn’t understand it either, he figured I better give her a call. I didn’t want to go out again with him. And I said to him on the phone, “You lost my number for three weeks? I actually thought you died.”
Kim: Because, you know, that was way before ghosting was a thing. And you always got a call back.
Grandma Gail: I mean, those days, you know, in the, in the 50s and 60s, if somebody didn’t call you back like two days later, you really figured that it wasn’t going to happen, right? But in this instance, it could be that he had to travel for business, or had something personal come up and they couldn’t get back. However, I do believe a phone call is never that hard to do and say, “I’ll get back to you in a couple of weeks.”
Kim: 90% of the time a good date will reach out pretty soon — say within the week. That said, I think there are outliers and I think it depends. If they reach back out with no apology or reference to why they, disappeared for a few weeks and they’re just like, hey, I want to go out again..
Grandma Gail: Then I think no.
Kim: I agree. But if they had a reason, like a tragedy or even a legitimate I got really swamped at work, then maybe.
Grandma Gail: Let’s give him a second chance. And if it ever happens again, then, done. Three strikes you’re out.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
My parents are moving across the country just as I’m starting to try for a family. I’ve always imagined raising my kids close to them, but my career and life are rooted here. How do I navigate this?
Grandma Gail: Well, you know what, you’re going to have to go on, what do you call it?
Kim: Facetime.
Grandma Gail: Thank you. Kim. Yes, go on your Facetime a lot. Because, your life is in one spot. Your parents are, in another. And that’s just the way, unfortunately, things happened. And nowadays, people don’t all live in one little community. But, you know what? There are always ways you talk to them every day.
You’ll show them the baby’s progress when it eventually comes. And it works out. And just make little trips to see them.
Kim: Just so you guys know, that would never have been allowed. Grandma literally would shame me every day until I moved back closer to them. Now I’m moving two blocks from her. That’s how close you are.
Grandma Gail: It’s good. I like it!
Kim: Exactly. So, I know you’re being very reasonable with this person, but to me you would be, like, move closer to your family.
Grandma Gail: Well, I think you’re right. I would have.
Kim: I’m just calling you out.
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