The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star Whitney Rose is detailing how her Mormon upbringing impacted how she felt about the end of her and her estranged husband Justin Rose’s 16-year marriage.
“I’m realizing that a lot of that Mormon programming has really shaped how I view my marriage and my life and my family,” Whitney, 40, exclusively told Us on Thursday, October 15. “The good thing about Mormonism that I’m taking is our family unit. Justin and I are focused on coparenting and keeping the family unit healthy and intact, but I have to go all the way back to this program.”
She continued, “It really is hard because even though I’ve left the church young, I’ve removed my name from the church, I do not align with the church, that programming — since I was a child — is still in my head of guilt, shame [and] fear.”
Whitney, who left the Mormon church when she was in her early 20s, went on to explain that despite no longer associating with the religion, she still internalizes the messaging that often convinces people to remain in unhappy or toxic relationships.
“‘What are you doing? Stay in your marriage at all costs.’ And so it’s hard,” she added. “Part of me wanting to be alone is to go all the way back and heal that, too.”
News broke in July that the Roses were separating after more than a decade together. Whitney exclusively told Us in September that she and Justin, 57, “share two places” and they “rotate between the two,” so their kids — daughter Bobbie, 16, and son Brooks, 13 — never have to leave their “primary home.”
A definitive break for the former couple occurred on October 6, when Whitney officially filed for divorce in Utah. Us learned that Whitney submitted a parenting plan for the couple’s two children to the court for potential approval.
While speaking to Us on Thursday, Whitney described the concept of an “eternal companion” — a term used in the church to teach grade school children about marriage.
“An eternal companion actually means you’re married in this life and the next,” she said. “So it means an eternal companion, when you get married in the Mormon temple, you’re sealed together spiritually. So it’s not just till death do us part — it’s like our souls will be together forever.”
She continued, “So if you really understand — at 3 years old, they start reciting, ‘I’m gonna get married for all time and eternity.’ At 3 years old, every Sunday, we sing songs about it [and] read lessons about it. The impact that that has in your brain — even though you know it’s not true and there’s no concept of proof — it messes with your head.”
Now that she’s “officially 40,” Whitney told Us that despite the internalized shame and guilt she’s experienced as a result of her religious upbringing, she has learned one important lesson in the wake of her divorce — that she can do life on her own.
“When I take a step back and look at my life, I’m so grateful for Justin, the life we’ve built and all of his support,” she said. “He helped me get to where I am, but look at my life — I’m doing it. I’ve been independent and providing for myself. I’ve already been doing it, but for some reason I just haven’t accepted it or acknowledged it or allowed myself to celebrate it.”
She added, “I am resilient. I was having a conversation with my mother — because we’re trying to repair our relationship right now — and I’ve been talking to her more and spending more time with her, which has been a beautiful thing that’s come out of this. She said to me, ‘You’re like a cat … You could fall from the roof, and I know you’re gonna land on your feet … You’re the one in the family that has gotten out of this, and you’re strong.’”
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 7 airs on Bravo Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET.
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