It’s the macho man stereotype that once dominated the world of dating — but it seems that the alpha male has had his day.
New research has revealed that 63% of women now prefer a partner who is supportive, emotionally available, and happy to let them take the lead, rather than one who embodies “traditional” masculine values.
In fact, 44% said they would not actively look for an “alpha male” in a partner, according to the study by female-led dating app Chyrpe.
Only a few women said they were drawn to traits associated with the stereotype, with just 3% looking for a partner who is controlling, 9% seeking dominance, and 16% prioritizing assertiveness.
But despite women turning their backs on alphas, men still feel pressure to live up to what was once viewed as the masculine ideal.
Three in ten (35%) admitted facing ridicule from male friends if they don’t take on an alpha role in their relationship, while 37% felt pressured by social media to embody typical characteristics.
Experts at Chyrpe – which spotlights female-led relationships as an alternative approach to dating – believe that the study points toward a fundamental shift in relationship dynamics with couples prioritizing communication, trust, mutual respect and individual needs.
Gigi Engle, the company’s relationship expert, said: “With 63% of women saying they want supportive, emotionally available men rather than an ‘alpha male’, it’s clear that traditional ideas about attraction are shifting.
“Men are often told that they need to be dominant and in control to be desirable, while women are expected to be pursued and happy to let someone else take the lead.
“Chyrpe’s data suggests that many women are instead looking for partners who communicate openly, respect their needs and help build a relationship based on mutual fulfilment.
“Whether that’s a traditional partnership or a female-led relationship (FLR), the growing trend is clear: women increasingly want the freedom to define relationship dynamics on their own terms.
“It’s this desire for greater choice, agency and authenticity in dating that platforms like Chyrpe are helping to support.”
The study found that there are still significant differences in how women and men view relationships.
While 62% of women valued a supportive partner, just 48% of men recognized how important a quality it was to women.
The same gap appeared when it comes to loyalty (61% of women vs 46% of men), kindness (58% vs 40%) and good listening skills (52% vs 41%).
There was also a striking gap between fantasy and reality when it came to dominant male characters.
While 45% of women agreed that alpha males are only attractive in fiction, 54% believed that dating one in real life often leads to a one sided relationship where the man’s needs took centre stage.
Three dating myths men need to stop believing about women
Chyrpe relationship expert Gigi Engle busts the beliefs that get in the way of good relationships.
Myth 1: Women always want men to make the first move
We’re still conditioned to think of men as the pursuers and women as the pursued, but this leaves little room for women who want to initiate, express their desires directly, or take an active role in shaping their relationships.
There’s nothing less attractive about a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. Mutual attraction doesn’t need to follow a prescribed script, and women shouldn’t have to wait to be chosen when they are perfectly capable of choosing their relationships and how they function within them.
Myth 2: Men should naturally be the ones in control of a relationship
Traditional dating culture often assumes that men should lead, but there’s no rule that says relationship leadership belongs to one gender.
In FLRs, women take the lead in decision-making, establish the relationship’s direction, or guide its dynamic, with a partner who has openly consented to this and actually wants that arrangement. Couples should understand and respect each other’s preferences, rather than defaulting to gendered expectations simply because that’s what they’ve been taught to do.
Myth 3: Women who are assertive about their desires are intimidating or controlling
Knowing what you want, communicating your needs, and being comfortable taking the lead are positive things, not detractors to your value in a relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to express their preferences without being made to feel like they’re doing something wrong. Female-led relationships create space for women to embrace their agency and for partners who find that confidence attractive to build relationships on their own terms.
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